Defiance
I'm under command
this fighting pressure is no more.
Painfull demand
shall not linger in my presence any more.
My good friend of the night
she guides me into her comfort heart.
She knows me and what to do when all is unwell.
I'm skating
on very thin ice - it's a sacrifice.
I'm hurting
no one can hear me anymore.
But I'm still learning
I'm fighting the pressure that's taking me down.
I won't go down with this
molten heart that I know I can beat.
It's the shaddows
that really do me in.
Crying out for a hunter
who will slay the beast within.
My brother oh Sir Knight
will fight my life with all his breathe.
He doesn't want the snow to devour me whole.
And we set sail
for the seven sea's inside my mind!
I'm skating
on very thin ice - it's a sacrifice.
I'm hurting
no one can hear me anymore.
But I'm still learning
I'm fighting the pressure that's taking me down.
I won't go down with this
molten heart that I know I can beat.
It's like an itch you can't scratch
it's like a garnmet that won't match
It's like a falling star
that keeps on falling even though it's all burned out.
It's like an etch beneath your skin you know is there but you...
you can't get it out.
I'm skating
on very thin ice - it's a sacrifice.
I'm hurting
no one can hear me anymore.
But I'm still learning
I'm fighting the pressure that's taking me down.
I won't go down with this
molten heart that I know I can beat.
[img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/grin.gif" alt=";D" border="0"/> hello kay,
you right about writing about how you feel, im sure geting things down on paper would help but im not really a writer i dont enjoy it myself, im not very good at expressing myself, its very frustrating. im content just to read your works kaylan, therefore im sorry to say i wont be another poetry princess. speaking of works though the opening stanza of salvation was really good in particular the forst two lines
A true dance is like death
a step into the wind.
i dont really know why it sounded so good to me but the flow of a dance is a really good similie for death. i suppose i liked them as the had a very elegant, kind of suave feel about it. very cool. i like that poem alot.
life is great too the last line is a fantastic ending, it really sums it up especially as its seperate it really makes you focus on it. you hadnt used water in the poem before, but time and water tie together really well and you lead to it so when i read that last sentence everything sorta just hits you all over again. it worked well.
evils harm is another i liked heaps, the first stanza again was again a bit i like alot. it was put really well, i always like it when i read something with a good intro, it kinda hooks me and i feel i understand what i read better, because i tend to read things an think i know what im reading but when im done i realise i've got no idea what i just read, lol.
anyway i gotta go but good stuff kay, cya later.
Esspess.
hi esspess [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
lol there are more ways to express yourself other than writing. For example, I sing. Man I sing a lot - all the time in fact, and it helps me with my rhythyms for my poetry.I am glad that if you dont write, than you read. Not everyone like writing! Its a pride and joy to me and I really love your feedback! lol You can just be a princess then!
I like using similies in my poetry, and in a way, a true death to me is like death, and thats just the way i like expressing my poetry. The step into the wind part is like jumping headfirst into things, and death is jumping headfirst into the unknown.
I thought about time and water because just before i wrote it i watched Donnie Darko. Its my favourite movie and I love the references about time and water because they are the essentials for life.
Evil's Harm is about saving the world from its evilness, like realising true sin and taking a stand against it. I like the intro too because its good rhyming [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
Thanks a lot!
Kaylan
x
I will stand
An open blanket
smothers me
and brings me down,
a siren song
that lures me
into it's heart.
It's a new mind
travelling distances that no one will go.
It's taking a stand on immoralty.
Take the violence
and throw it away.
A somber mood is like a
macabre sense of destiny.
A whole day is like saying to the world that you want to live.
So dont let yourself go.
A trojan love
takes you by the hand,
and leads you on
it doesnt seem wrong
it lures you
and you feel your strong.
But when the makeup fails, inside you see true evil.
When the lie breaks,
you begin to understand.
Take the violence
and throw it away.
A somber mood is like a
macabre sense of destiny.
A whole day is like saying to the world that you want to live.
So dont let yourself go.
Cut the ravine
I'm flowing away
into the black tommorrow.
I didn't want to steal your rose
but I think I'm gonna have to.
I only wanted you to smile apon my face for me,
to change my destiny.
[whisper](Black flowers smother me)
They smother me.
[whisper](An ocean steals me soul)
It's trickery - TRICKEY!
I will stand and I will fight.
I won't let myself go down....
Take the violence
and throw it away.
A somber mood is like a
macabre sense of destiny.
A whole day is like saying to the world that you want to live.
So dont let yourself go.
Don't you let yourself go down.
Hey!
i love 'I Will Stand'. Its so powerful and empowering, warrior-like if you like.
these are my favourite lines:
I will stand and I will fight.
I won't let myself go down....
i think i like them most because of their simplicity - straight forward and strong. awesome message!
i really like this one alot - its very positive. does that mean you are feeling more positive about things? i hope so. there is such a huge energy in that poem - you - and if thats how you're feeling, well, look out everyone who tried to put you down!
its great Kay - love your work!
MK
Thanks. I dont know about it, I just felt good when I wrote it. On that day, I was speaking to a man who im going to speak to sometimes from boystown. Hes so funny. It was the first time in meeting him and because we went overtime he gave me a lift home cause he said i was pretty and that i should be watching out for predators lol It made me blush [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/tongue.gif" alt=":P" border="0"/>
I sort of made it warrior like to mean that you know, I am the boss of my life and no one can strip me of my crown. I like it a lot!
Thankyou!
kaylan
x
Triumph of the weeds
Creeping slowely
withering fast
yet not dead yet,
its eternal to last.
Its breathing is fast
like an engine of a plane
or like playing a game
suffering the shame.
The shame of what? you ask
the shame of the forgotten task
of setting me on fire
for cruel lust and desire.
Desire of what?
you ask me.
And I tell you
and you fall.
I take your hand
and the vines creep again.
Withering my spine
this is no kind of game that I like.
No playfull shouts
just haunting screams
Screams of terrors
which were not what they seemed.
Yet again I climb that vine
the enlangled threads
climb up my legs.
Like a breathing mind
setting time on fire.
Yet i wont let go
not this time.
Guilty Remembrance
You poor, sweet sacrifice
playing genlty in the woods.
When the angels hover over your sweet rose body
they sing for your grave.
Your grace is worth a thousand petals
of all the flowers I cannot give.
And your voice has no diamoned worth,
slickened by your pain.
And when the rainbor river
reaches the causeway
slower than the dropping of the stars.
We will sing.
The Lithium chime bells
ring out the day.
No more love for this era,
this orb is no more.
The dust shall wipe your feel
no love for the.
Cut the cross and let me go.
Don't cry to me
I'm not bounded to you like your angels.
Your grace is worth a thousand petals
of all the flowers I cannot give.
And your voice has no diamoned worth,
slickened by your pain.
And when the rainbor river
reaches the causeway
slower than the dropping of the stars.
We will sing.
And we free fall in your absence
we cherish your freedom from our lives.
Yet the black ghost haunts us
because we were your death.
Held down by whom?
By you.
And when the rainbor river
reaches the causeway
slower than the dropping of the stars.
We will sing.
We have no heart left to cry.
Innocent?
You're so sweet innocent
genocide is not on my mind.
And you've got your lives to protect
I can't intervene, there's no strength in me.
But I know your secret
you steal your strength from others and you
take their faith away.
You poor sweet innocent
I can't imagine why you've got those
eyes that scream the pain
I don't know why you've got death
on your mind.
You're gonna try and murder me.
You're so full of consent
Homocide is not on my mind.
And you've got a mind full of respect
I can't poison you without poisoning me.
You poor sweet innocent
I can't imagine why you've got those
eyes that scream the pain
I don't know why you've got death
on your mind.
You're gonna try and murder me.
Oh you love your mind
you love to paint me with your lies.
Oh you erase my life
you can't seem to find a reason why
your life is so wrong.
You poor sweet innocent
I can't imagine why you've got those
eyes that scream the pain
I don't know why you've got death
on your mind.
I wont let you murder me.
Death Dream
Help me breathe now
don't you love me anymore?
I don't want to forget how your hands felt
I want to stay in love with you.
Don't let me go
I can't dream
without your sunrise to wake me up.
I don't want to forget how your breath felt
I want to stay next to you forever
Don't go away.
It's your life that makes me happy
It's the way you feel my heart.
It's the rapture that exists between us
lulling us to sleep.
It's your eyes that make me smile
it's the way to call the peace into me
letting me breathe.
Don't ever let me go and go away.
Help me see now
don't you wan't me anymore?
I'll never remember to forget how your heat beats.
I don't want to close my eyes.
I will never fly away
you heal the darkness inside of me.
You lift me up
I can't get over your touch.
It's your life that makes me happy
It's the way you feel my heart.
It's the rapture that exists between us
lulling us to sleep.
It's your eyes that make me smile
it's the way to call the peace into me
letting me breathe.
Don't ever let me go and go away.
Help me to see
help me to forgive me for letting you go.
I want to dream
But I cannot sleep
I cannot find my dreams anymore.
Leave me be
let me sleep while I rest your face
in my mind.
I don't want to forget how you feel.
On my own
1
I don't know why i'm fighting for life
when there's nothing left to control it.
I sit alone watching other people see theire wonder
while i'm left to look upon it and shudder.
2
So I hold everything in my arms
and I hold everything with my life.
Chorus -
Why am I wasting all that matters?
I should be looking for a cure.
Why do everybody shudder
whien I walk into their door?
I held you like you were mine to hold.
But now, now I'm left on my own.
3
I can't tell you why I'm looking for someone to love
because there's no one to love me back.
I sing along to the thunder that's pushed in my face
everything's so missplaced.
So I hold every living thing in my arms
and I hold every living thing with my life.
Chorus -
Why am I wasting all that matters?
I should be looking for a cure.
Why do everybody shudder
when I walk into their door?
I held you like you were mine to hold.
But now, now I'm left on my own.
Coda -
I'm so sick of all the tension
I'm so sick of everyone not knowing my name.
I'm so sick of all the lies and abuse
and I'm so sick of all the shame.
Chorus -
Why am I wasting all that matters?
I should be looking for a cure.
Why do everybody shudder
when I walk into their door?
I held you like you were mine to hold.
But now, now I'm left on my own.
I held you like you were mine to hold.
But now, now I'm left on my own.
My neverending story
oh i dont feel like sleeping tonight.
I watch the crimson moon light up my life.
What it brought to me was so cruel that i cry.
There's something missing that I can't find.
The voice i once had is lost to me.
It's path has crossed with a neverending story.
The pages cross and turn so slowely in my mind.
The page I marked is no longer mine.
So I dream of the story in my sleep
and I weep so cruelly that I cannot breathe.
What I've come to love most are the missing pages that I've lost.
The missing pages in my neverending story.
Oh, I don't feel like reading tonight.
So I sit alone and watch those haunting stars light up my life.
The memory I'd lost is brought up in my mind.
But still, there's something missing that I can't find.
The pages I turn leave light memories.
I need to remember what I've read so I wont loose this story.
The pages cross and turn so sloewly in my mind.
The page I have marked is no longer mine.
What hath I done?
Will I ever find the page I've missplaced?
Is the story real?
I think I must of read a few pages ahead.
What hath I done?
Will I ever find a page I've missplaced?
Is the story real?
Are the people from the story talking to me
just voices in my head?
So I dream of the story in my sleep
and I weep so cruelly that I cannot breathe.
What I've come to love most are the missing pages that I've lost.
The missing pages in my neverending story.
Heyy Kaylan!
I reckon your gettin much better (im not saying you needed to improve tho [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> ).
The verses seem to each follow a certain theme which makes it a lot easier to read [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> I'm lovin it! [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/tongue.gif" alt=":P" border="0"/>
lol...thanks Ry....i'm allways up for critique - good or bad!!
I'm trying harder!!
just a few songs i wrote yesterday!
Fool
1
How do I know where the right path is in the end?
Lost in the line of stupid fools lying to descend.
Climbing down the ladder of lies
scalling the wall of angry fools trying to pretend!
chorus
You stupid fool
there is no way out now!
Lost in the crowd
of lying sods trying to save their souls.
You lost your cool!
take a step back now.
Sceaming so loud
wasted your whole life trying to be too proud.
2
How do I know if my brother is my friend?
he could be wise, but also could be pretend.
So I climb the ladder of lies
passing the group of fools....trying to take my life.
chorus
You stupid fool
there is no way out now!
Lost in the crowd
of lying sods trying to save their souls.
You lost your cool!
take a step back now.
Sceaming so loud
wasted your whole life trying to be too proud
Coda
You say you want me
yet make me angry
trying to impress me
thats what...you wanna be!
Some people hate me
yet then they make me
so f*cking happy
though I'm not sure...thats who I wanna be.
chorus
You stupid fool
there is no way out now!
Lost in the crowd
of lying sods trying to save their souls.
You lost your cool!
take a step back now.
Sceaming so loud
wasted your whole life trying to be too proud
yeah
Liar
1
You say you're cruel
cruel as you wanna be.
Though you're a fool
it's me who is left angry.
coda
Your heart beats
my heart pounds
so what does this say to your claim?
You're life's the best
my life's a mess
It's me who brings the shame!
Chorus
You lie your head down
as you sleep at night.
I reach the bottom
in my endless dreams of fright.
You make my mouth frown
as you lie about your life.
So just keep your head down
and get the hell out of my sight.
2
You say you cry
and can hear voices in your head.
Though that's a lie
you just daydream a lot instead.
coda
Your heart beats
my heart pounds
so what does this say to your claim?
You're life's the best
my life's a mess
It's me who brings the shame!
Chorus
You lie your head down
as you sleep at night.
I reach the bottom
in my endless dreams of fright.
You make my mouth frown
as you lie about your life.
So just keep your head down
and get the hell out of my sight.
Without your mask (without your mask)
and all of your lies.
There's no one inside (no one inside)
but the things you wanna hide.
Chorus
You lie your head down
as you sleep at night.
I reach the bottom
in my endless dreams of fright.
You make my mouth frown
as you lie about your life.
So just keep your head down
and get the hell out of my sight.
Reasons to scream
1
I tried to tell myself that there was not an ending
that was confusing and kept me loosing.
I left my past behind so I could breathe properly
but it kept my bleeding and kept me screaming.
chorus
Oh, I lie and tell me everything's okay
but the feeling inside is going to stay...
There's no more blood to bleed
so many reasons to scream...
2
It was so captivating whta you had to say to me
but it brought the bruising, so not amusing.
I left the path behind so I could find an ending
but I'm still bleeding and I can hear myself screaming....
chorus
Oh, I lie and tell me everything's okay
but the feeling inside is going to stay...
There's no more blood to bleed
so many reasons to scream...
Still lost in the tunnels of my mind.
There's something that I cannot find.
I'm still lost (still lost) in the wreckage of my fmind (no, no, no, no)
But there's still something (still something) something that I cannot find.
So I lie and tell me everythings okay.
And I know the feeling inside is going to stay.
There's no more blood to bleed
No more reasons to scream....
Don't Try
1
I think
I left my mind behind
when I tried to find
a reason for my life.
2
And I think
about all the times I cried
and all the times I tried
to fight myself...
Coda
All the bruises and the cuts and all the marks that I left.
They don't count up to the feeling that I felt in my head.
Chorus
Don't try to let me find me
cause I will wear myself out.
Don't try to let me kill me
cause I will beat me to the ground.
3
I think
that when I tried to find
a reason for my life'I failed.
4
And I think
that all the dreams I had
don't even stand a chance
when I fight myself.
Coda
All the bruises and the cuts and all the marks that I left.
They don't count up to the feeling that I felt in my head.
Chorus
Don't try to let me find me
cause I will wear myself out.
Don't try to let me kill me
cause I will beat me to the ground.
I see me (I see me)
falling to the ground.
I see me ( I see me)
loosing what I haven't found.
Chorus
So don't try to let me find me
'Cause I will wear myself out.
And don't think to try to let me kill me
'Cause I will beat me to the ground.
just a personal poem. enjoy
ignor
I close tht window
and I shut the door.
There are things I hear
that I want to ignore.
I open my cupboard
it is bare.
Then I smile,
I think I'll hide there.
The air is stale
but I don't care.
I only want to shut out the noise
so I can sink into despair.
The noise continues
and it rages on.
I hate it so
because I know who it's comming from.
But how can I hear
the things I shut out?
How can I hear
the pain that's inside.
Maybe its me
as I'm crying out.
Maybe thats my voice
raging about.
So I step out of the cupboard
as the noise is dying down.
But when I see whats in front of me
I fall right to the ground.
The softer voice
is the one that reasponds
Whilse the deeper one
starts killing me again.
The pain inside
grows so much more
and I groan aloud
as I roll on the floor.
Then the pain diminishes
as the lights go out.
And the house is silent,
there is no people about.
And when I awaken
and clean up the mess
I see a picture
that is ripped to shreads.
That picture is me
when I was a little girl.
But a little girl no longer
so I run out of my world.
And I go back to my cupboard
and shut the door.
And think about the things
that I want to ignor.
Sometimes I just cant find the words
to tell you what I so long for.
A sweet crimson bed with all the pain escaped from my head.
Though that is just a dream. Nothing more
When I scream out loud
thats not really what I want to say.
I want to say; 'can you get the f*ck away?'
because I don't want you anymore.
Its not only the voices that taunt me
its the feelings that I cannot see.
Deep inside my throught
waiting to be let go.
I cut open my skin
and I know I cannot win.
The voice has taken over
and it never will cease to tell me i'm nothing.
All i long for is a sweet crimson bed to lie down my head
then a long bathe in what's left of my remains.
There will not be a grave
because there is nothing left to save.
Wings of shame
1
Here is a world
in my hands
cupped like a bowl of blood.
2
Just so ready
to be spilled
into the world of Pain.
3
One breathe you take
takes you to the lake of tears
where you're awaiting your final place
and i'll be waiting, for you.
chorus
So hold my hand to cease the pain
and then we'll do it all again.
I close my eyes as I dance in the rain
and I wonder if I am sane.
4
Here is my blood
left for you
so you can bring me back.
5
When I go
I'll be ready to swim in the lake of pain
And when I drown, I'll do it all again.
Because of my love
for you.
chorus
So hold my hand to cease the pain
and then we'll do it all again.
I close my eyes as I dance in the rain
and I wonder if I am sane.
Tear off my wings
bring on the shame
I lie to stay alive
and lie to stay sane.
Break off my life
from the cord of beginings
No more reason to stay alive
and more reason to go insane.
The world is wrong
1
One step away
from floating into a nothingness.
And stepping on the wrong stone,
coldness shivers up my bones.
2
You all do say
Why is it that you are that way?
I dip my feet into fresh springs
and tell you that you cannot win.
I see the world a way
that is diferent to your sight.
Purple colours dancing on the horizon
telling me to take up my flight.
3
There is no cause
that can tell me what I do is wrong
or how to write my own song,
how to sing the notes in your way.
4
So now you pause
and listen entranced to my song.
You understand that I am not wrong
and I can do it my own way.
I see the world a way
that is diferent to your sight.
Purple colours dancing on the horizon
telling me to take up my flight.
But how
do I turn bones to flesh?
Take
my hand by your side
children dancing in the tide.
We are one step away
from floating into a nothingness.
And stepping on the wrong stone,
coldness fills up our bones
Until there's nothing left.
My son
There is one
who can lead me on to the next door.
Who opens the sun
and lets in fresh noise that fills my lungs.
He is my son
whom i love more than most
he lets my breathe the air
and never lets me sink into despair.
When I take his hand
his warm palm lights up my world
and sends love through my nerves
lighting up my day.
In everyway
I do love him more everyday
and as I hold his hand
I must remember never to let go.
So he will know
that I love him so.
Wow Kay, it's taken me days but ive finally finished going through all ur pages, and i'm really impressed.
your really in your element when you write arent you.
more than a few times i found myself reading with my jaw wide open. though, yes, i do have to admit, there were times when i had NO IDEA what you were going on about.
i think though, i kinda like it that way. mystery or something......
im really sorry i cant critique your writing, im not a writer myself you see. so i can only comment on what i like. usually if i dont like it, i dont comment/i say "yes, different, its really um...you".
but i will comment on your acceptance of critique... you are very gratious and mature. i can bet a lot of people will respect you for this, even if they think your work isnt their 'style'.
:) you really like it?
Wow.
I know what you mean about sometimes you have no idea what im going on about. [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/tongue.gif" alt=":P" border="0"/>
I like using a lot of metaphores to explain what I'm trying to say. And I know what you
mean about mysterious, my writing mentor agrees. Sometimes I have to sit down and
explain what I write to her and she still doesn't get it.
But I don't mind.
I kind of think as my peoms like kind of stories and if you don't like them then you can
just skip ahead a chapter if you like. I don't mind at all:)
You think I'm mature? Gosh...Ive never had that before! And I don't mind if what I write
isn't someones 'style' because we are all individual [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
Thankyou so much...I like critiques good or bad!!
If you find my other peoms confusing you will never know what this one means [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/tongue.gif" alt=":P" border="0"/>
Its totally metaphorical!
Follower.
Angels cascade
down flowing rivers of my tears.
Breathing my sweet air
crowning our share.
Oh wanderer
will you ever follow your one true path?
Following my feet make prints
in the snow.
Where is your home?
Blinded waters drag in your body
and it settles on the shore
lies there forevermore.
I follow your prints
that are left by the fallen snow.
They lead me to your song
singing what I long to know.
Who am I?
I'm looking for mercy
I'm shouting a name.
Not knowing where I am
or who who there is to blame.
I'm walking through the night
forgetting my despair.
Endless fields and corridors
overtake me
but I do not care.
Im running down an alley
im running out of time.
I'm searching for a reason
a reason, which I cannot find.
I'm tripping in the rain
falling into deep endless dreams.
Calling out nobody's name
hearing macarbe screams.
So who am I to judge myself
so who am I to blame?
Who am I to say I've failed
kneeling in the rain.
So who am I to scream
when I'll never escape my life.
Who am I to run?
When I'll never escape this dream.
ive drowned in the fire
and burned in the rain.
been kicked till my faith was lost
but i'd do it all again.