Captain Hammer: [act]animatedly explaining exploits to Robin[/act] And so I threw a car at his head. Ha! Stopped him in his tracks - and pot-holed, dusty tracks they were.
Emerald & Min: [act]have both fallen asleep[/act]
Robin Hood: [act]is vaguely impressed[/act] My dear fellow, it seems you and I are of a rare breed indeed, fighting the injustices, righting the wrongs, protecting the forests. Let me buy you a drink!
Captain Hammer: [act]pauses[/act] ...are you asking me out?
Topher: [act]laying on the deck[/act] Is it just me, or is he adorable when he's being stupid?
Firefall: Oh! Good, you're awake. C'mon, time for your treatment!
Topher: [act]points at Firefall warily[/act] Oh, no no no, you see, in my last three concussions I've figured out your game [act]points around the deck[/act] You're all dolls.
Firefall: [act]kindly[/act] That's right, dear.
You're not the crazy one, everyone else is simply programmed to say these things to you?
Narrator: A rumble, calm at first, began to sound on the deck, punctuated by snatches of song.
Tanya: We can hear just fine, thank you.
Narrator: Can you? Can you
really, without [act]these[/act]?
Tanya: [act]opens mouth[/act]--
Narrator: [act]quickly[/act] The Narrator's date declined to respond, having been bested.
Tanya: But--
Captain Hammer: Hark! What is that quiet but quickly growing in volume rumbling? [act]pushes Min on the shoulder[/act] You! Blue girl.
Min: [act]startles awake[/act] 8-| I'm here! Wait, what -
blue girl?
Emerald: [act]startles awake at the noise as well[/act] Robin! You let me fall asleep?
Robin Hood: |:( you seemed so full of peace, I didn't have the heart to wake you.
Emerald: [act]swoons[/act]
Captain Hammer: Well, you're wearing blue. If you're going to tag along as my quirky, sleepy sidekick, you gotta have a catchy name.
Min: [act]flabergasted[/act] I'll give you
sidekick - and since
when is blue girl catc--?
Narrator: Before she could finish her sentence, Min was trampled by the source of the noise I tried to warn you about at the start: A hoard of fangirls and fanboys, wearing coloured t-shirts sporting Captain Hammer's face on them.
Fangirls/boys: [act]singing[/act] And here he iiiiiis!
Fangirl 1: My heeero!
Fanboy 1: We will follow!
Fangirls/boys: Follow!
Fangirl 2: Will you please siiiign this?
Fangirls/boys: Our Captain!
Narrator: [act]huffily[/act] That'll teach you to ignore me.
[act]Captain Hammer preens; Min scrambles to her feet; Robin protects Emerald.[/act]
: HA! Take
that, Narrator!
: one, Narrator: zero!
Narrator: [act]voice seems to carry a scowl[/act] The impertinent
was then thrown from the deck of the ship by a passing cyber-penguin.
s*c*p:
**Unauthorised guests detected. Delete, DELETE!**: What?! NO! YOU NEED ME! YOU CANNOT COMPLETE YOUR PLAYS WITHOUT ME!
Narrator: And with a pathetically small 'splash' while grasping for the CAPSLOCK key for floatation,
was thrown from the vessel. The most shiny, impressive, clever cyber penguin proceeded to the back of the hoard of fangirl-boys.
s*c*p:
**Who invited these humanoids?**Captain Hammer: [act]grins and swishes[/act] Don't sweat it, bird-brain, this lot are with me.
s*c*p: [act]picks up the hoard in one big, colourful mass, and throws the fangirls/boys overboard as
scrambles back on deck.[/act]
Fangirls/boys: [act]singing[/act] We faaall, in the name of our Hero!
Min: [act]still seething over the sidekick comment[/act] It's such a shame that you weren't given any invitations, Hammer-man. [act]Captain Hammer turns to her with a raised eyebrow[/act] Awwwww, no more fawning friendlies for you?
Captain Hammer: [act]flicks hair[/act] Jealousy is an ugly business. One day you'll realise, I'm too much a magnificence for one person. Here, [act]holds out his arm[/act] you can touch it if you want.
Min: [act]gapes, speechless[/act]
Topher: My my, who
is this corporal tool?