TSC: *admires in-built hospital*...and how about you?*turns to smuppet*
Smuppet: Ahhh yes I the Lady of Ambivalent Auras have also come fully prepared... ~:| I of course have my rusty hammer with me, that i have since modified with an array of ambivalent accessories, and its also great for cutting pavlova :D ...and ummm here is my transport...
*grabs broken coconut and sets off monty python style* clip-clop clip-clop...clip~ clop....clip....cloppp
Raven: Is that really the most practical way of travelling?
Smuppet: *mounts kitty the light-saber-toothed-tiger instead*
Kitty: Rawr!!!!!!
Smuppet: He's a little shy...
uninvited, smurph pops into thread, makes a joke about accountants *directed at smuppet* and leaves
[act]The four knights arrive at The Rusty Throne, and meet up with the Queens[/act]
[act]They discover that Avialle is fighting with her Rusty Clowns at the Warfront...[/act]
MM: *is anoyed* how anoying!!! we came all this way for a damzel in distress and shes fine!!!!
TSC: to the front lines!!!!
MM: tally hoe!!!!
Sez: uh..rust and shine!!!
[act]a messenger arrives at the rusty throne, bearing a letter sealed with the tea pot seal of the Tea Empire
The knights look suspiciously at the messenger[/act]
TSC: I thought that the tea empire was just a myth
Messenger: No my lord, it is located to the south west of your lands, in land which your people have never yet visited. [act]the messenger takes out a thermos and pours himself some tea[/act]
TSC: and you really spend you entire day just drinking tea?
Messenger: oh NO! not at all
TSC: well that's a rel-
Messenger: we spend some of our day brewing tea.
[act]Smuppet snorts and takes the letter off the messenger. the seal is broken and the letter reads:[/act]
My gracious fellow monarchs,
I feel impelled to write to you on a subject that is greatly troubling me and my people greatly. Fo many years, the level of glitter, sparkles and rust in the water and atmosphere has remained at a tolerable and safe level, but this state of warfare that you are engaged in has caused serious environmental problems for my country.
Our water supply, one so pure and sweet - perfect for brewing a delicate darjeeling, has been inundated with metal oxides so that it is now barely tolerable for a robust assam - and our tea crops! it is nearly time for the two days of pai mu tan picking - the only two days of white tea picking for the year, and the crops are sadly spotted with corrosion.
We ask that you desist from this harmful and sensless act of destruction. There is really no excuse for the wanton damage of tea.
Please accept this gift of silver and diamond teapots as a show of good faith.
Nef
Empress of the Great Nefarian Tea Empire
[act]the teapots arrive, shinning and sparkling and glittering in the sun...[/act]
*A Knight's page runs the message through to the Queens*
Mono: Hm....This Empress is not an enemy of ours yet...however, if we do not play our cards right she could very well end up one. We do not want that to happen...2 wars would just be ridiculous.
Sezza: How can we keep her on our good side then?
MM: We could..... er......um........
Sezza: We'll explain the situation to her.
MM: Yes! It is all Lord Agyllian's fault! His declaration of war has meant that we are using more glitter and sparkles and rust than ever before...which is in turn affecting Nef downstream..
Sezza: So in the end it all comes back to him!
Mono: We could get Empress Nef to join us, because by ending this scourge of Dullen, we will go back to using our normal levels of Shine and Rust.
Queens: *mull over proposition* *agree*
*Knight's Page runs back to Empress Nef with the proposition*
[act]the messenger, made fast by the miraculous caffiene in tea, is back almost instantaneously.[/act]
Messenger: The most gracious tea empress has caustiously agreed to an alliance, dependent on the risk to her tea crops. She is leading the army of the Nefarian Tea-pire to join you shortly [act]the messenger stops to drink finish his thermos of tea[/act]
MM: well at least we will have somehting to drink while at war!! we should plan tactics..wheres a good general when you need one?
MEssange: you have recived a letter from the lord agyllian m'lady
MM: please read...
Messange: to my dear queens, ladys and lords:
we have been at war for some time and i feel it is only fair to tell you i have your queen of rust. we will be exspecting a small ransom of 600 pounds of glitter and sparkle and we will think of something that the queen of brilliance to give us later.
yours dully Lord agyllian...
MM: oh dear she is a dmazel is distress now!!!
Ashlings' guildleader
15 years ago
Ashlings' guildleader
Master of Obernewtyn
P.S: I will have my tea strong, black and with 2 sugars please
---------------------------------------------------------------------
[act]Agyllian is checking over his troops in preperation for the war[/act]
Agyllian: Ninja Pirates!
Ninja Pirates: HIYAA!
Agyllian: Pirate Ninjas!
Pirate Ninjas: ARRGH!
Agyllian: Mexican Hat dancers!
Mexican Hat dancers: SI SENIOR!
Agyllian: Besmirched knights of the heptotable
Besmirched knights: [act]Show the number 7 tattooed on their hands in silence[/act]
Agyllian: Cat-a-pults!
Cat-a-pults: [act]can't reply as they are lifeless objects[/act]
Agyllian: Oh that's right they can't talk. Well, onto planning...
[act]The Swedish Cat has a horrible premonition[/act]: He's got the Cat-a-pults!
MisfitMind: No! He wouldn't dare.... [act]giggles, despite the horrible situation[/act] imagine if he caught you...hehe.
The Swedish Cat: Imagine if he caught You!
MM: [act]Gulp[/act]
Agyllian- No tea for you!
------------------------------------------------------
Over the mountains from the south west comes a strange noise - that of clanking crockery. It slowly, yet steadily gets louder and louder, then over the crest of a hill comes and army, marching row by row, sipping tea as they go. Behind them come rows of steam powered (what else - this is the tea-pire) siege engines and water cannons, not to mention giant tea dispensers. At their front, under the pouring tea pot banner of the Nefarian tea Empire is the Empress Nef, with a mobile tea set before her on her horse.
E Nef: Wot ho old chaps! What's the posish?
MM: are you the tea-empress?
Nef: Rather! You off to another War? hmm, well i'm not sure that i like that - terribly bad for the tea.
MM: Well, lord Agyllian has taken the rust queen hostage and wants a ransom of glitter and sparkles
TSC: and he has catapaults - CATAPAULTS!!!!
Nef: WOT! More glitter and sparkles floating around? What a fathead! I'm starting to wish that i'd brought more of my army....
MM: looks at the rather large assemblage of tea-warriors ... errrr, this isn't all of them
Nef: Good grief no! The rest are off on emergency tea rescue operations - i can have them here in a jiffy, it's just rather a bother. I didn't realise that there could be such a fathead floating around to deal with.
[act]turns to her army[/act]
LOAD UP THE CANNONS
[act]immediately the warriors start boiling water[/act]
TSC: [act]watching interestedly[/act] what do you put in your cannons? Boiling water?
Nef: No - what use would that be? I put COFFEE in there!
TSC: Does that work?
Nef: have you ever been hit in the face with a high power jet of boiling coffee?
TSC: errr
Nef: exactly - the taste lingers for DAYS - it's very effective back home
15 years ago
Wed Jul 30 2008, 09:07am
MM: ugh coffee *shudders*
---------
mea while...
FEn: all this stupid wlking..coffee knights carry me!!!
coffee knights: *Grumbles*
Fen: threr* points* the kingdom of lord agyllian!!!we will enjoy -fighting my goody two shoes tea of a sister!!!-
--------------
TSC: i just ogt a horrible feeling we will see fen again
Raven: whO?
The Swedish Cat: Fen... a most horrible wicked WarriorQueen... Nef's Hated Twin, and my sworn enemy, and helena's sworn enemy and Indeed Nef's and well everybody's...
I thought I had finished her off...
Nef: But then she escaped- again...
Ashlings' guildleader
15 years ago
Ashlings' guildleader
Master of Obernewtyn
Agyllian: Last I saw you, you had been liquified ny your sister.
Fen: Ahahaha, she can't get rid of me that easily. The wise man from the mountain told the truth you know!
Agyllian: well, make sure you're on your best behaviour. I would of prefered your sister would have joined me, afterall we both are feeling the effects of pollution from the rust queen.
Fen: But I thought you wanted more glitter and rust?
Agyllian: Not sure which of my pages asked for that when deciding a ransome. Guess they'll face the consequences of treason.
Fen: Hung drawn and quartered :D?
Agyllian: Of course not you ghastly woman, we send them to the cleaning troop.
fen: Cleaning? I thought this was the home of the Tarnished people?
Agyllian: tarnished by name, not by nature. We are trying to clean up our city.
Fen:Oh that makes perfect sense ::)
Agyllian: But it doesn't matter, I am looking forward to a good war. Haven't had a decent battle for a few years. Anyway, I have to get back to the roll call, Oompa Loompas?!
Ooompa Loompas: OOMPITY DOO!
Agyllian: Black Tartans
[act]A strong wind blows[/act] Black Tartans: Brrrrrrr!
Agyllian: :-X . Moddey Dhoo
Moddey Dhoo: Ruff!
Fen: ???
Agyllian: Here boy. ah that's a good Moddey Dhoo. He's my dog
Fen: [act]sees a giant black dog[/act] gulp!
MM: we have the tea knights, glitter knights, sparkly knights, dusty clowns, ktty..what are your kitties tsc? we need more for our army...
TSC: we could ask the trees....
MM: have you been watching narnia??
TSC: no...
15 years ago
Wed Jul 30 2008, 12:05pm
Nef: [act]diffidently[/act] there are always the mystical tea powers to help you... as tea empress, it is within my jurisdiction to bestow them on worthy recipients...
[act]nef pauses[/act]
Ordinarily, i wouldn't do so, but since that lord Agyllian has decided to be a fathead and has allied himself with Fen, my people face the threat of tea-rorism. I cannot let that happen!
The Swedish Cat: The Mirrored Meow's and the Facetious Kittens...
MM: well instead of us..digussing attack can we please find a form of action??? im goning to ride of right now *goes to get eye cather (horse))
Facetious Kitten #1: Sirs, Majesties, I have urgent news, Agyllian is on the attack!
MM: *holds out a map* well we are here *points* they are there *points*
TSC: :O well thats next door!!
MM: is it? *tilts head* of course it is!! well then lets go! *jumps on her horse*
[act]Some miles north-west...[/act]
The Warfront!!!
The Swedish Cat: Come here fellow Knights. Servants, I think it would be best for the RustyClowns to report to either Queen Sezza, Queen MM, Queen Mono or General Helena. Lady-knights Raven and Smuppet will be in charge of the attack.
Sparkling Herald: I bring a notice from Lord Agyllian!
I now formally announce my alliance with the RightfulEmpress of the Unchartered Tea-ritories, Ladette Fen. We have taken the Castle of Facets, and removed it's Southern face of Solid Diamond to fund my dealings with the Northern Island of Pearls. [act]collective gasps of horror[/act] The RustQueen is currently languishing in the Clinically Clean Dungeon. That is all, my unworthy adversaries...Muahahahhahahahahaah!
Nef: Fen you FATHEAD - you are not the rightful Empress - you failed the TEA EXAMS, you nonce!
[act]draws out a specially sealed package of tea, and a carefully wrapped teapot.[/act]Nef: [act]to her aide-de-camp[/act] the special water, if you please [act]he scurries off[/act]
TSC: waht are you doing?
Nef: I told you about the tea magic - well, by declaring her intention to take the throne, Fen has placed herself under my juris-tea-tion. She does not know or understand the tea-magic infusing the unchartered tea-ritories (well, unchartered to YOU perhaps), adn as a coffee drinker, she could destroy our way of life. So the tea magic must destroy her.
[act]the water arrives and Nef starts brewing tea - it emits a faintly glowing light which strengthens as the tea brews[/act]
MM: oooooooooohhhh: shiny!
It's unchartered because it's both legendary and so vast not even Nef Knows how big it is
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Swedish Cat: Ah, you have Tea Exams? We have the Effulgence Exams...
MisfitMind: Horrible things... but a prophetic necessity.
The Swedish Cat: Where are those Rusty Cl-?
[act]Superior Rusty Clown bursts into the fort[/act]
Superior Rusty Clown: THey Hath Taken Our Lady Avialle, you must help us...
Sezza: Our trustee-Knights are planning a rescue by sea.
SRC: NO! You must go with them, leave your forces to help though! We have been informed that Agyllian's Fortress can only be breached by the power of Four of Royal Blood!
Mono: We have only three queens...? And an empress.
Nef: Huh?
15 years ago
Wed Jul 30 2008, 02:19pm
Nef: Hello - Empress? That's royal blood! Let's go! Before this tea gets cold!
MM: ok so are we going in sneaky or taking the front on approach?
Nef: i cant wait *charges*
MM: ok the front approach *charges after nef..other quuens following* RUsT N SHINE!!
Nef;TEAAAA!!!!