I love the 'well, you’re dead' in your Destiny and Prophecy poem :). I remember reading in someone's thread a couple of books about a person who's being forced to go save the world and moaning about how tiring and unpleasant travellig in search of adventure is. I presume that was yours? If so, yep - that poem definitely suits!
And True Love's Kiss is so classically fairy-tale and sweet :). (And with hugs :D)
I'm glad you like them Darga.
That is one of my favourite lines too; it was based on a Mercedes Lackey quote about how glorious destinies lead to glorious funerals. I think that there are a couple of us with similar realistic-adventures but my protagonist was certainally complaining about it quite a bit (obernowrisu).
Coming back to True Love's Kiss after so many years makes me cringe a bit at the cliche-ness, but I was thinking about you and Shonk when I wrote the hugs :P
And another poem! So far I've been managing one a month so I want to keep that up for the whole year.
This poem is special because
a) it is not depressing
b) it is based on real life not a particular fantasy book
c) I actually wrote it pretty much on the spot rather than planning it for weeks
... that shouldn't be as exciting as it all is :|
Anyway,
Mirror
A silvered mirror
Framed in crystal shows:
Emerald leaves
Trembling in a rippled breeze
Bright golden medallion
Blazing in a sapphire sky
Reeds of jade and amber
Bending and swaying to silent music
Ruby petals in clustered heads
Nodding to their reflections
Then, image shatters
As ducks land
This is lovely! Simple, poetic, and meaningful :)
I really really like it, it's amazing! however, i would change "Then, image shatters" To "Then, the image shatters"
But up to you, if it doesnt fit the rhythm in ur head, leave it. :) Awesome poem
Thanks guys, I'm glad you liked it. Dakosha, I was tossing up whether or not to include the 'the', this is just the version that made the post.
Ah, i c, well, like i said, it's up to how you want it, whatever sounds right to you. :)
Simple and beautiful. I love this sort of short and disconnected description :). I keep trying (and failing :P) to stick it in my stories. Works far better in poetry!
10 years ago
Tue Jun 04 2013, 04:13pm
And here is my poem for June [sub]I may or may not have held off the final edit so it would qualify for this month...[/sub]
At any rate, this one is based off the Risen Sun trilogy by KJ Taylor, in particular the first book The Shadow's Heir. The trilogy takes place in the aftermath of a major power shift between two races and their respective deities. The main character, Laela is the illegitimate child of a powerful person in each race and struggling to work out where she fits.
Halfbreed
I am the child of two lands
A part of both, belonging to none
In the south they say “Back North, darkwomanâ€
There, it’s “Go home, Southern scumâ€
I am the child of two lands
And for it, me, each land will shun
I am the daughter of two skies
Blessed by the moon though born to the sun
My eyes are the blue of the clear noonday sky
My hair of night’s shadow is spun
I am the daughter of two skies
Dark and light meet, combined into one
I am the chosen of two gods
They name me the Risen Sun
But in choosing me, both, against the other
My allegiance neither has won
I am the guide of my own destiny
And the god that I choose is none
I like the resignation behind this one, and the rhythm as well. Not having read the series, that's about all the constructive comments I can give :D.
10 years ago
Thu Jul 11 2013, 03:22pm
And right on cue, here is my July poem :P
This one is based off one of Anne McCaffrey's books again, Dragonsong, when Menolly is trying to outrun Thread. She wrote the second verse, I created the rest of the song. I quite like the chorus; but the rest of the verses, and in particular the first one, don't quite flow properly.
Running Song
While hunting far along the shore
The birds go silent, all
A silver shadow in the east
And fire; it's Threadfall!
Run, run, now I must flee
Racing on beside the sea
Whole world narrows to each step
And the deadly rain behind
My feet take off, my legs go too
The rest is obliged to follow
Me with hands and mouth full of cress
My throat to dry to swallow
Run, run, now I must flee
Racing on beside the sea
Whole world narrows to each step
And the deadly rain behind
I run along the sandy shore
To safety of my cave I fly
I know it is too far to reach
Still, I can not help but try
Run, run, now I must flee
Racing on beside the sea
Whole world narrows to each step
And the deadly rain behind
Dark shadow falls from high above
I know it ends this day
But dragon lands there not yet Thread
To bear me safe away
Fly high, carry me
From the danger by the sea
On dragon wings we go between
Leaving deadly rain behind
I quite like the rhythm of the verses. And the whole thing has got a very dramatic, epic sort of feel.
Thanks Darga. Going back over it, you're right, it does have a sort of feel of epicness to it. :P I think my main problem with the verses is just in trying to fit both events and rhythm with Anne McCaffrey's rathe than going at my own pace.
10 years ago
Sat Dec 07 2013, 05:05pm
So, RL may have eaten me for the last couple of months, but I've managed to keep up my goal of a poem a month. I just need to write one for December, then I've done one every month all year :D
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August
Shonk, this poem is actually based off your Troglodite book (I loved reading it and wrote this just after). It is actually still a bit of a work-in-progress. I like the idea and the first stanza is alright, but after that the rhythm and word choices start to go a bit haywire...
More
Sky; more than just shadows above
Light; more than just lamps in the walls
Air; more than just space underground
Questions; is our world no more than a lie?
Plants; more than just shapes in the rock
Animals; more than just a single Cat
People; more than just those we've always known
Life; is our world no more than a lie?
Fear; more than just of mother's scolds
Fighting; more than just schoolyard brawls
Death; more than just lost in inhuman raids
Secrets; is our world no more than a lie?
More Outside, our world is a lie
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September
This month's poem is actually an extension of a song in the movie of The Lord of the Rings sung by Pippin. The first verse is in the movie, the other two were written to make it fit the story.
All Shall Fade
Home is behind, the world ahead
There are many paths to tread
Through shadow, to the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight
Mist and shadow, cloud and shade
All shall fade, all shall fade
Danger's ahead, safety behind
Still the way forward we must find
Through darkness, to the rim of fire
While around the flames burn higher
Destroy the ring, of magic made
All shall fade, all shall fade
War is behind, the future ahead
A new age won by the dead
Through blood, their tears and pain
The evil shall not rise again
All magics gone, the price we paid
All shall fade, all shall fade
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October
This song was one of those perfect ones that just writes itself. I was in the car with a friend and complaining about assignments when 'Be a Man' from Mulan came on. Being the Disney nerds that we are we started singing along, but then changed some of the words. A few run-throughs later, this was the result.
Do It Now
Let's get down to business
To write this essay.
Did they give me word counts
When I wanted page limits?
You're the saddest bunch I ever met
But you can bet before term's through
Mister, I'll make a scholar
Out of you.
Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within.
Once you just start typing
You are sure a HD.
You're a clueless, pale pathetic lot
And you haven't done your research.
Somehow I'll make a scholar
Out of you.
I'm never gonna leave this room
Say goodbye to those who knew me
I was a fool in school for cutting class
This report's got us scared to death
Hope he doesn't see it's [censored]
Now I really wish that I knew how to spell
Do it now.
We must be swift as a coursing river
Do it now.
With all the force of a great typhoon
Do it now.
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
Time is racing toward us
'til the deadlines arrive.
Heed the marking criteria
And you might not fail.
You're unsuited for this uni course
So pack up, go home you're through
How could I make a scholar
Out of you?
Do it now.
We must be swift as a coursing river
Do it now.
With all the force of a great typhoon
Do it now.
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
Do it now.
We must be swift as a coursing river
Do it now.
With all the force of a great typhoon
Do it now.
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon
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November
And another movie/Disney-based poem. I was watching The Princess and the Frog for the first time and came up with this duet between Tiana and Naveen (Naveen in italics).
What Is This?
What is this? What is this?
I've turned to a frog after just one kiss.
Foolish risk. Foolish risk.
I'll always be a waitress.
What is this? What is this?
The curse should be gone after just one kiss.
How'd I miss? How'd I miss?
What do you mean you're not a princess?!
What is this? What is this?
Now how will you keep your promise?
You did this! I did this?
It's your fault I'm now in this mess.
What is this? What is this?
Then what were you doing wearing that dress?
You did this! I did this?
It's your fault I'm still in this mess.
[Both] What is this? What is this?
I've turned to a frog after just one kiss. / The curse should be gone after just one kiss.
[Both] You did this. You did this!
[Both] It's your fault I'm now in this mess.
10 years ago
Fri Dec 06 2013, 09:06am
Your version of Be a Man is fantastic! I laughed forever. Also: huzzah for roadtrips where all the passengers sing along to Disney songs!
ETA> I just went back and read some of your previous poems and I need to tell you how much I loved Destiny and Prophecy. It's a fantastic poem. I can see a couple of places where a little tweaking might be required but I honestly loved it from start to end.
Thanks Bunne, those are two of my favourite too. And all of my poems continue to be tweaked a bit after I finish them.
Writing the Be A Man variation was great, we kept having trouble singing because we were laughing too! :P
Your poems are always a lot of fun, Bibli :). Of those four, I think the Princess and the Frog one is my favourite.
Wow, it's been a while. I may not have been posting but my writing hasn't completely stopped, I'll have to backdate some poems.
For now, here is the poem I wrote for December last year, to complete my poem a month challenge :D.
This is once again an IC poem. It looks at Glynn and Wind, and the idea of the yearning arrow.
Arrow
My arrow flies into the night
Seeking a target out of sight
If nothing draws it to the light
I fall to the void, I drown
My whole life appears grey and dim
Reflects the camla deep within
And I don't know where to begin
To fill the void inside
The greyness of the world around
Tightly around my heart is wound
It drags my arrow towards the ground
Keeps it from the stars
But if, when soul's arrow takes flight
It hits and finds the target bright
Then everything will turn out right
I fill with Song, complete
So, have another poem. This one is quite interesting because it is the first time I have written a poem without a fixed structure. I think it must have been influenced by the drabbles I've been doing recently.
Once again, it is based off Patrick Rothfuss' Kingkiller Chrongicles, exploring how Kvothe feels about hiding as Kote. My favourite part is the end of the first verse; it feels like it perfectly captures the tone of the character.
Masks and Actors
Actors have many faces, many masks.
They can put them on or off at will;
Be happy, sad, excited or angry.
One hour they might be a king,
The next, a beggar
(Only as an actor, can a king be
Brought low within a single hour;
In reality it takes three).
But the thing about actors,
Is the mask comes off again.
They leave the stage and the king,
The priest, the hero, the beggar,
Is gone; leaving only the man.
My mask doesn't come off.
At first, it was too dangerous.
I didn't dare show my true face
Where anyone might recognise me;
Didn't dare forget that being
The legend leads only to my death.
I didn't dare face the face beneath.
Now, I can't remove it.
I don't remember where the mask ends
And the man begins.
I don't remember what it is like
Not to play a part.
I don't know which is real,
The legend or the mask.