Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Made a start on a brand new story that's been kicking around in my brain for a looooong time now.
Here's the prologue
It was just a little prick and one drop of blood; a routine test that had been done for decades to check for something or other. Every infant born since the 1960s had had it done. It didn’t hurt at all.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Some had suspected over the years that the test had been a clever way to collect DNA samples from everyone in the technologically advanced populations, which it was, but not one had guessed the real truth behind the test.
The governments involved didn’t even need the complicity of the nurses performing the tests. They had no idea that with each prick they were really injecting every new born with a microscopic chip which gradually worked its way from the heel of those tiny bodies, to lodge itself in their still developing brains.
Ohhhh. This is quite different to most of the stories people are posting. Can't wait to see where you take this one!
Mystic Guilden
11 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
I like that start Deb. Already my brain is forming theories about what kind of plot you're setting up :)
Very interesting, Deb!! I a, very intrigued! Great prologue
Creepy? I'll say! Sounds fantastic. Please tell me what is attached to my brain? All curious now.... ;)
Why am I imagining evil babies? I don't think I should be imagining evil babies, but I am.
Certainly intriguing Deb.
I can't stop thinking about the vet scanning my dog for his microchip when I asked her what the number was for some paperwork I had to fill in... She was looking at me very suspiciously because it had migrated from the original site of injection. Not into his brain though!
I wonder whether Deb's chips have some kind of receiver in them? So you can instruct them to zap the person and get them to do things they don't want to?
Thanks, Darga. Now I am imagining evil ninja babies!
A few more ideas, and I reckon Obernet can get Deb's story written for her in the next week or so :P
Wanderer Ward
11 years ago
Wanderer Ward
Dreamscape Artist
I like it Deb! Does the rest of the story take place years later when one of these little babies is grown? I'm thinking the government's using the chips to control and oppress the population, but everyone's going to figure out how to use the chips to their advantage! :P
Dargafleas - yes! Group story!
I'm loving both Deb's snippet and everyone else's speculation. I'm imagining that the protagonist has a dud microchip. Either that, it is is the mentor-type character with a failed/no microchip and the go around recruiting people for their resistance by removing or blocking other peoples' chips.
(Hmm, this is starting to sound a bit like another book I read several years back...)
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
I'm loving the ideas and the thought that you all can write my story and let me off the hook. Heres the start of the first chapter...
Casey walked along the street, fuming at the attitude of her classmates. “Why can’t they get off their butts and do some work!†She muttered to her reflection in a shop window. The group presentation was due in two weeks and so far the only one of the group who had given it even a glancing thought was Casey. “Just my luck to be stuck with a bunch of slack [censored], procrastinating, mumble headed idiots.†She smiled to herself, cynically. “Baffle brained, airheaded social butterflies the lot of them.â€
Running out of adjectives for the girls in her group, Casey opened the door of the building she was in front of and walked inside. She looked around and spotted Daman waiting outside the coffee shop tucked away in the corner. As he waved, she shook off her annoyance and went over to greet him.
Daman always made her feel better which was why she had asked him to meet her this morning. She knew she’d need more of a pick-me-up than coffee alone would give her, and besides she had a favour to ask him.
As the two settled into a corner booth a waitress walked over with two steaming mugs of coffee. “I thought I’d see you here today,†she said with a grin.
Casey grinned back. “Hey Jean, thanks. You sure got lucky with the group allocation this semester. Want to swap?â€
“No way. It’s hard enough getting through the presentation with the group I’m in, what with working two jobs and my other courses.†She laughed. “Though why the Prof didn’t split that lot up, I’ll never know.†She shrugged and went back to the counter.
Yay, words! You're like Nef, Deb. You make ordinary situations come to life on the page. Such a pleasure to read.
I must say, that waitress of yours seems to lead a rather full life! And I can't wait to see where your little microchips come into it.
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Thanks Darga
The waitress will come back into the story pretty soon but you might have to wait a bit for the chips. Think of someone born in a third world country who has come to study where ever the story is taking place. Lots of questions will come up...
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
The next little bit.
Blowing on her coffee Casey looked across the small table at Daman who raised an eyebrow at her. Taking a quick sip, she put the coffee down. “I need a favour...â€
He broke in, “You know I can’t.â€
“Not that,†she said. “This is about something else.â€
Daman looked surprised. He was sure she would ask about the plant again. If the big knobs there knew he had even mentioned in passing what was going on there, he would be in very hot water. “What then?†He asked.
“It’s just that, well, I need somewhere to crash for a few days.†Casey looked slightly embarrassed as she continued. “It’s this presentation. The group I’m in are utterly useless, calling in at home at all hours to see what I’ve done, but not doing any of the work themselves. I need a place where they won’t be able to find me so that I can concentrate on my other courses.â€
Damon wasn’t quite convinced by Casey’s reason, but he figured that if she was going to try to probe him again, he was more than capable of putting her off. “Sure.†He said. “That’s fine. I’ll be late tonight but take these and make yourself at home.†He handed his keys to Casey and picked up his coffee. “What’s up with the group anyway?â€
“You really don’t want to know.â€
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know. Tell Uncle Damon all about it. Maybe you’ll feel better if you get it off your chest. I know something has you all bent out of joint.â€
It was Casey’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “And how do you know that?†she asked tartly.
“I know you, Case.†Damon grinned. “Every time I get an invitation for morning coffee it’s for a reason.â€
“Am I really that predictable?†Casey propped her elbows on the table and cupped her chin in her hands. “Don’t answer that!†She said with a sigh. Turning to look at their reflections in the window, Casey thought about what to tell Damon about the group of Barbie wanna-be’s she was working with. She knew she’d have to make it good or Damon would realise that they were just an excuse.
“For some reason Professor James decided it would do me the world of good to work on the group presentation with the ‘it’ girls.†Sarcasm dripped off her tongue as she continued, “and not just one or two of them, but the entire bloody coven.â€
“Isn’t a coven a group of witches?†Daman teased, wondering who Professor James was.
“Yeah well, you get the point.†Casey took a sip of her coffee.
“So what’s the assignment?â€
“The statistics of Blond haired, blue eyed children born between 1985 and 2035 in the region of greater Europe.â€
Damon bit back a reaction.
“Well the coven certainly fit that paradigm, except for their ages. All blond, blue eyed princesses no doubt descended from generations of blond, blue eyed, stupid, lazy...well you get the picture.†Casey turned back to look out the window hoping that Damon would not ask too many questions.
Damon leaned back in his chair deep in thought as he ran his gaze over Casey’s profile. Her dark brown hair fell in straight lines to her shoulders with a longish fringe covering her eyebrows. He decided to let her off for the moment, knowing that he had the next week to press her for answers. “Well you have the blue eyes even if you don’t have the blond hair. Unless you dye it of course.â€
Casey turned back and stuck her tongue out at him. “As if!â€
“So what’s the problem? The report should be a shoe-in. You know your stuff. The research part is easy enough. There are hundreds of databases available on the web.â€
“Yeah, I know. But it’s supposed to be a group presentation, not a ‘Casey will do all the work so we can sit back and party’ presentation. I made it clear last night that I was not going to do their work for them and that I was going away for the next week, so maybe they’ll realise that those pretty little computers they carry around are good for more than organising their social lives.â€
I really like this, Deb! Can't wait to see the microchips coming in!
Very interesting and just comes to life as someone mentioned already!
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
It is important Ari, but not in the Hitler sense. More to do with mind control of certain genetic traits. Well so far anyway. That could change. :P
Ugh, your laste two snippets are so easy to relate to. So much hatred for group work. Can I ask when this is set? I'm assumed it was a kind of alternate-universe kinda story but since the year 2035 was mentioned, it could just be speculative set in the future (though I guess they kinda work as the same thing in away /rambling).
'The group I’m in are utterly useless'
I think you mean 'is' instead of 'are'. Sounds really awkward with 'are'.
Also, 'blonde' over 'blond' is used when referring to female blondes--but this is kind of an old-school rule so I guess it doesn't really matter. I'm think it looks prettier with an e on the end so I use that rule XD
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Thanks Sionainn. Yes group work has been driving me nuts at the moment as well, but that's not why it made it into the story.
more snippets to come but will be posted in Prodders.
Can't wait, Deb. Very much enjoying the story so far! :)
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
So, I've decided to give uni the boot and try to write some more of this story over the summer. Look out in Prodders in the next week or so. Or I might be posting the other story I'm writing. I not confused.....really....
Mystic Ward
10 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
I managed 600 words yesterday on a short story I'm writing for a course I'm doing. It's a start...right?